VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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