I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
