he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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