yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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