I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize