ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize