So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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