doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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