If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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