i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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