it was like his penis was on wheels.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
