I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
