the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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