Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
