That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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