my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
