i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
