why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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