I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Princesses don't give blow jobs
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
