If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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