You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
