they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
