just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
