Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
