If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
