I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
