she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
