Do you still have your period?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
