at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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