Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize