Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
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