Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize