how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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