Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
