I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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