Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
