do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
