ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
