i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I intend to get homeless drunk
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
