the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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