Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
