The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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