I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
