i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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