I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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