he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
