I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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