I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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