i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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