I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
