I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
