I think my fart just growled at me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
