apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
