Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
