Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
