HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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