I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
