If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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