those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
