she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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