Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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