can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize