she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
