she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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