I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
