He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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