btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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