Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
