I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
